


Two Crabs, of Varying Size and Tenderness

by paradoxmachine



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alien Sex, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bestiality, Blindfolds, Blow Jobs, Bondage, Earth C (Homestuck), Egg Laying, Eggpreg, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Extremely Dubious Consent, M/M, Other, Overstimulation, Oviposition, Sex Pollen, Tentabulges (Homestuck), Xenophilia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-26
Updated: 2019-06-26
Packaged: 2020-05-20 09:28:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19373929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paradoxmachine/pseuds/paradoxmachine
Summary: If a feral lusus pounds your ass in a forest and no one's around to hear it, do you make a sound? Yes. Especially when there's a massive clutch of eggs to contend with afterward. At least Karkat knows how to sort him out, even if Dave's not too keen on his plans. At first.





	1. Chapter 1

"And so I say, Egbert, if you make one more 'breaking wind' joke, I'm gonna break your neck," Dave was saying, talking animatedly with his hands in a way anyone who knew them would recognise he'd picked up from Karkat. "And I can see him just immediately turning pink and purple from holding back the obvious joke- like if you squeezed him, he'd just pop like an over-inflated balloon, I swear. I was sorta worried, honestly, and then finally he says- ...Dirk?"

Dave looked back over his shoulder for probably the first time in half an hour, finding to his surprise that his brother was not, as he'd assumed, a few paces behind him the whole time. Instead all he saw was dense, empty forest. Heavy hedges of foliage, hanging vines draped from mossy branches, nearly a foot of undergrowth, but not a single immaculately shaped blond hair among them.

Without his voice filling up the dead air, Dave suddenly realized how quiet everything had become. No birds in the trees, no distant croaking of frogs or rustling of small creatures moving through the leaves both above and below. Even knowing nothing about nature survival, Dave found it eerie. Someone like Jake could have warned him to be more concerned than just mildly creeped out- because silence in a forest like this in the middle of the day meant that something was about to go horribly wrong.

The forest knew to be silent, but Dave didn't.

"Yo, Dirk?" Dave called a little louder, half expecting him to step out from behind a tree and... and what? Shout surprise? He still had a lot to learn about the brother he had only met a few years previous, but he was certain that Dirk was just about the last person to think jumping out at him was a good idea, ever. Which was concerning. If he wasn't hiding, that meant he was just mysteriously _gone_ in a forest full of dangerous troll flora, fauna, and everything in between.

"Hey, Dirk!" Dave shouted, as loud as he dared- but years of hanging out with Karkat still hadn't given him half the lungs the guy had on a bad day, and he was pretty sure his voice didn't carry far enough that Dirk would hear him unless he was already in sight. "Where you at, bro?"

All the quote-unquote “training” in the world wasn't worth a shit in a real situation like this. And maybe he'd gotten a just a little too used to thinking everything was over, everything was snuggling up with Karkat or tinkering with whatever with Jade or shit like this, just hanging out with Dirk in the “Kingdom” he sort of ruled or whatever. Nothing dangerous, nothing lurking, nothing watching.

A chill ran up the back of his neck, instinct trying to warn him, but he didn't spot it until it was far, far too late.

He heard it first, enough that he knew something was coming _before_ he was pinned against the tree. If he'd been more prepared, more alert, maybe he could have reacted in time to stop it but before he could reach for a weapon or make a sound there was warm breath, a flash of eyes, and then something warm, thick, and sticky was worming its way past his lips and down his throat.

Dave choked, struggling to free his wrists from two vice-like pincers and even uncaptchaloguing his sword for the first time in what felt like forever- but his grip went weak, and his blade fell to the forest floor. Before he could try again, or make it start raining random ninja bullshit, a stronger feeling than his panic washed over him. It was near-instant relief from the second the sticky fluid touched his tongue, even before the warmth started to flow from his mouth down his throat and through his limbs.

Instant relief, something he would have killed for a thousand times over, seemed like maybe it wasn't such a good thing this time around. But his mind was growing very foggy, very fast and he couldn't think of why he'd been so scared just for a second there. Dave blinked open his eyes, which he hadn't realized he'd closed, and remembered. Oh yeah, giant monster pinning him to a tree. But the thought was distant, far away, like it was happening to someone else, or something he was watching in a movie.

Dave's heartbeat stuttered rapidly. He opened his mouth wider to gasp, only to realize he couldn't breathe at all. This _thing_ had its tongue so far down his throat that he had a flash image of it wriggling all the way through him and coming out the other side.

Oh fuck, what? Why did that sound like not such a bad idea? He should absolutely have been more alarmed by that, and also by this not breathing thing. He could feel his body writhing against the monster's grip and his throat swallowing rapidly around its tongue, trying to get the blockage through or _out_ because his vision was starting to go black. He had the presence of mind left to think it was probably a very bad idea to pass out right now-

And then it was sliding back out all on its own, leaving Dave's lips coated in something syrupy sweet and his whole body tingling. He groaned, falling back against the tree trunk. Every muscle in his body felt shot from the struggle. It felt good to relax. He should just relax. If anything was wrong he would definitely be more upset than this, right?

He didn't feel upset at all, he felt warm- really warm- _hot_ , every inch of his skin was glowing with warmth and the brush of his clothes against his skin was agony. Glorious agony, hot friction. His nipples were so hard that they hurt, they ached to be pinched and pulled- anything, any kind of touch. Not to mention that his pants suddenly felt several sizes too small.

The creature dropped him, satisfied that he was sedated. Dave immediately unbuttoned his pants and pulled them down, his hands quivering with the desperation to get them out of the way. Everything felt like _too much_ , just the feeling of air moving over his skin feeling as strong as that first buzz of a vibrator against his prostate. Too much- good, but far too much, and he couldn't get away from it.

"Holy fuck," Dave said, as the creature took over, tugging his pants down to his knees and gripping his hips tenderly in his claws, lifting them, raising them to its mouth. It shoved its tongue up his ass with the same lack of reverence it had shown jamming it down his throat, but even if it should've hurt he didn't care because the instant its saliva touched him his whole lower body was lighting up with bolts of shuddering pleasure. He tried to arch away, but there was nowhere to go.

He was caught between a tree and a soft place. Soft and warm, so warm and moving, pushing deep, deeper. Each heartbeat brought a fresh trembling wave of pleasure, making him tense up around the creature’s probing tongue, biting his lip, struggling to think straight, to think of anything that wasn’t relief from this overwhelming, intoxicating arousal. He had to get away, had to escape…

Instead he slid a hand under his shirt to twist at his nipple, his other hand moving to cover his mouth and stifle an embarrassingly loud moan. What the fuck was happening? He looked down to see a massive head easily the size of his whole torso, just tucked between his legs like it belonged there. The worst part was that his whole body seemed to agree, his legs curling to cling to its jaw, the rest of him doing nothing to try and pull away.

"Could've... bought me dinner, first," Dave slurred, each word seeming to take a lifetime to leave his tongue.

It blinked all four eyes at him, the smaller pair each as large as his fist, and the larger pair at least twice that. Had to be some sort of lusus, his bleary mind puzzled out- or whatever it was Karkat called them before they bonded to a troll kid. He could usually remember that kind of shit now, but right now it was beyond him. Dave moaned openly, letting his head fall back against the tree trunk.

Christ, what if someone heard that? What if- oh, shit, Dirk was probably out there looking for him right now. Dave covered his mouth again, sinking his teeth into the meat of his thumb to muffle an even louder moan. Dirk couldn't see him like this, he'd die of shame. He wished Karkat were here. Karkat would know what to do about a rogue lusus. The answer probably wasn't 'let it have its way with him, it'll probably be okay,' but Dave couldn't seem to convince himself otherwise beyond a mild hint of concern somewhere on the horizon.

Sluggishly, the creature's tongue slid back out of him, trailing idly over his balls and thighs on its way back into his mouth. He was left smeared with a translucent red that was so near looking like something he was much more familiar with that it made his dick twinge just from the thought. Christ, fuck, wait, was this one of Karkat's sort of whatevers? The crab guy? ...Yeah, okay, it was vaguely crustacean, he guessed. Dave wondered if it was in bad taste to make a 'Daddy' joke and then had to pause to wonder if it was even a male crab whatever thing.

The creature arched back onto its legs, bracing its claws up in the higher branches of the tree, and for the first time Dave got a good look at just how _huge_ it was. Fuck, if this was a male lusus drugging him up for sex for _whatever_ reason, how big would its dick be?  His eyes went wide behind his shades and he felt a stirring of fear again, scooting back in the underbrush and then rolling onto his stomach in an attempt to crawl away.

It caught him around the middle in one strong arm and hoisted him up. Dave kicked and struggled, forgetting that he could fly in the heat of the moment. Moving was a bad idea, though. It had him rubbing against his clothing again and oh god, if it was just going to fuck him and leave that wasn't so bad. It seemed friendly. A big, friendly, horny fucking crab. He kicked bonelessly, clinging to its arm for support, quickly giving up on the idea of escape. It was pointless, he couldn't get away without hurting himself in the process. It was harmless, it felt good- _really_ fucking good- it- it wasn't his fault, whatever happened.

Dave looked back over his shoulder, watching warily as what he had assumed was the creature's tail curved up and around to tuck back under its abdomen. Its tip was open and dripping a thicker, sticky red liquid that even more closely resembled something Karkat might produce.  That made it even easier to let his mind wander back to where it wanted to be, far away, while his body appreciated the feel of it prodding against his hole and then sliding in deep like it owned the place. Dave covered his mouth again, shouting into his sweaty palm, sweat and tears running down his face as he rocked back on it, letting it fuck him open.

"Fffffuuuuck-!" Dave choked. The creature held him so effortlessly. It pounded into him like the beast it was, with no regard for what it did to him or how he felt about it- but god, it was exactly the kind of feral, nearly vicious fucking that Karkat could never give him and that he'd never ask him to.  He could never ask him to pretend not to care, to use him like an object, to risk breaking him like he was nothing. It was so against everything that Karkat was. But a guilty, deep, dark part of him craved it, and just this once he indulged. It wasn't his fault, none of this was his fault.

And then he felt the first of what would be many, many bumps knocking against his entrance with every thrust, slowly urging him open wider and wider. Dave swallowed heavily and spared another look behind him. The length of its 'tail' was bulging with tell-tale round shapes, and he suddenly remembered a neat little fun fact about crabs, and the way some crabs could store their eggs for long periods before finding a safe place to lay them.

Somewhere warm and damp and oh jesus christ, was this really happening? He tried to pull away again but he was dangling with nothing to grab a hold of or push against to try and escape. It reacted by pushing him harder back on its ovipositor and with a scream of pain and pleasure the first egg was forced inside him. He could feel it moving up the rest of the creature's length, could feel it lodging somewhere deep inside him and- oh shit, oh fuck, why was that hot?

Dave took a deep breath, because he could already feel a second egg working its way down. He gave up trying to pull free and instead reached down to edge a finger into himself, struggling to get it to fit but there was something much, much larger coming and if he didn't stretch himself first he felt like it might tear him right in two. He only managed a fingertip at first, and then two, and then slowly his fingers were moving with the creature, pressing deeper, deeper, stretching, curling-

Dave's toes curled and his eyes clamped shut as he brushed a fingertip very intentionally back and forth over his prostate. Like it had been given permission, a thick strand of precum dripped from the head of his cock and down to the forest floor which seemed to be so far below. Far away, everything but this was far away.  He could feel the egg knocking insistently against his knuckles with every one of the monster's thrusts, and finally he had to cede to it, stretching himself as wide as he could, slipping his fingers out and then feeling it force him impossibly even wider and he _screamed_.

More pleasure than pain this time,  now that he'd 'woken up' his prostate he could keenly feel the egg pressing against it as it was inched slowly, slowly deeper into his body and then released all at once as it cleared the outer muscles and slid down the shaft of the ovipositor to join the first.

How many were there? Half a dozen, a dozen? Each at least the size of his fist. Could his body even handle that? He'd seen his body swell impressively with Karkat's cum before but this was different, this was _eggs_. They didn't feel hard like chicken eggs, at least. Still firm, but with some give, like a gel capsule.  Maybe it would be okay. Clearly this creature didn't think it would kill him, because what was the point in laying eggs in a body that would go cold? He'd be fine. This was fine. Everything was _fine_.

Dave whimpered, feeling a third egg following so soon after. There was no room for his fingers there so he squeezed his cock instead, pumping it in time to the monster's aggressive thrusts and letting the pleasure blind him to any pain. Saliva dripped from Dave's open mouth. His whole body was rocked forward with every thrust, bouncing on the creature's movements while it tried to get the momentum to penetrate deeper.

He felt it falter and then start sliding out- and Dave had the optimistic thought that it was done with him, and was going to go find something else to put the rest of them in. But then he looked back and saw the eggs sliding down the tube, gathering against his hole tucked right up next to each other.

"If this kills me, tell Karkat I love him," Dave said to no one. "Tell Jade I'm sorry for always forgetting to put another soda in when I drink the last cold one, tell Dirk he doesn't have the ass to wear skinny jeans- tell- fuck, fuck, _oh fuck_ -"

His ass caught on every one as they were forced inside. He couldn't help but count them; one- two- three- _four_ , four of them all at once. His hand moved faster on his cock, legs twitching, body tightening reflexively around them. And there were still more, maybe nine or ten in total. He could feel them tucking away inside him the way you feel mucus building at the back of your throat, itchy in a way that can't be scratched- but at least the firm ovipositor did something for that. Still moving, sliding, building friction at his entrance, rubbing mercilessly at his prostate.

Dave craned his neck to look down at his sticky hand, wondering if he'd came already and hadn't even noticed. He didn't think so, but knew it couldn't be far off.  Three of the eggs were still pulling at his entrance. It didn't hurt anymore, he was getting used to the bumpy feeling of them moving in and out of him while they worked their way further down the tube.

Dave's hips jerked weakly into his hand and he came, the pleasure just another glow on top of the buzz of _everything_ all at once. Too much, he thought again, and instantly regretting letting himself climax because now his body wanted to rest and there was no rest to be had, not until this thing was done with him.

Sweat stuck his hair to his face. He wiped it back, smearing tears and saliva over his cheeks.

"Ohhhh god, no more," he whined, feeling another egg begin to crown while he was only just adjusting to the four new ones. Three more, two more after this, he told himself. He closed his eyes, arching his whole body into it as another egg cleared.

Dave's hand slipped down to his stomach, no longer caring how messy it was. What was a little cum to a belly full of alien eggs? And what a belly it was becoming. How was he going to walk like this? Was it just going to dump him here by this tree and hope for the best? Try and take him home to its nest? Did crabs have nests? He'd have to ask Karkat, Karkat was the expert here.

"Fffffuck, Karkat..." Dave groaned. He reached back down to his half-hard cock, tugging at it while he tried to imagine what Karkat would say if it were him, instead of some alien beast. He would rub his swelling stomach and croon reassurances in that hushed tone of voice he used instead of whispering. He could make it through this if it were for Karkat. He was so tired, so spent, so sore-

There were only two more, and then he could go home to Karkat.

Even still it was almost too much. He was so sensitive he couldn't even tell if he was feeling pleasure or pain, just that he was screaming and more cum was dribbling lazily from the head of his cock. It seemed to linger forever half way through, stretching him open at its widest point. He was afraid to move or even breathe, his breaths coming in shallow puffs when he could force them in at all.

And then it cleared with a pop, rolling in deeper. His whole body went limp again, /needing/ it to be over, even though he knew for a fact that it wasn't. One more, there was still one more.

Dave eased his grip on its claw, letting it support his full weight now- significantly heavier now than when they'd started- so that he could reach back with both hands and spread his cheeks wide. He begged his body to relax while it was just a gentle nudge, while he still had time to pull himself wider. He could feel the monster's thrusts getting more insistent, as eager to be done with this as he was.

"Ahhh...." he keened, completely out of his control. He was so sore, and whatever mix of chemicals had been in that thing's saliva had worn off almost entirely, leaving only a lingering tingle in his skin. "Ahhh.... Ahhh- Ah-!"

Dave felt it penetrate about a third of the way in and catch there. Dave groaned, reaching back further to rub at the thing's ovipositor, hoping that might help. It didn't.

The creature was still bucking up into him, but all it was doing was bumping his whole body forward with it. Dave gave a shuddering sigh, hooking his legs around the thin, muscular curve of the ovipositor as well as he could. He gripped it with both hands and pulled his body onto it, groaning loudly all the while- and then gave a whoop of celebration which dissolved into a moan as he felt it finally clear.

He was shaking head to toe, covered in sweat and cum, full of eggs and still hanging off a giant monster by his ass. But hey, all the eggs were in, which meant step one of the whole "eggs going in and coming out" thing was taken care of.  And the rest of that bullshit was for a future Dave to figure out, hopefully after a good, long sleep.

"Okay," Dave said impatiently, glancing back at the crab. "You did it, good job. The miracle of alien egg fucking, it happened, can you put me down now?"

Karkat had told him that these things were supposed to be 'not entirely deficit of cranial filling,' but if it understood him or heard him at all it made no indication of it. Eventually though it did crouch down, letting him slide off its shaft and down against the base of the tree.

"Thank y-" Dave started to say, just in time to get a mouthful of sticky red fluid as it spurted over him. He raised his arms to shield against it and hold on his shades. Jesus- if he'd thought Karkat's production was ridiculous, this was-. Though, it probably wasn't cum. He didn't want to think about what it was. He didn't know if that was better or worse. Whatever it was, it was sticky enough to glue him to the tree, which it occurred to him was probably the intention. Well okay, there was the answer to that mystery.

Dave coughed, trying to rub it off his shades with hands that were just as covered. He resorted to pulling them down a little just in time to see the end of the creature's tail disappear back into the foliage.

"You're not gonna call me, are you?" he called after it, ignoring that it was probably a bad idea to draw attention to himself right now. Who knew what _else_ was around. The joke was more important. "Damn it, I thought we had something special!"

Dave wanted to struggle more than he did, but he did little more than test that yep, he was hella stuck, before giving in and ceding that he would need at least a short rest before he could do a shitting thing to get free. He didn't even consider asking for help. He couldn't imagine a more shameful thing than being found pants off, full of eggs and glued to a tree by alien bodily discharge.

As soon as he gave up, he gave up completely. His body just let go, letting the slime support him since that was apparently what it did. He felt simultaneously weightless and heavier than he'd ever been, fat with eggs and regrets, and a little bit of guilt. He wouldn't think about it now. Couldn't think about it now. Don't think, just sleep.  He'd be home soon, and Karkat would be there waiting.

 

\---

 

Dave's mind stirred at the sound of a clearing throat. He didn't immediately register it as anything but sound and movement. Maybe once, a long time ago, that would have been enough to jolt him awake. But Karkat tossed in his sleep, and sometimes he snored, so slowly he'd just gotten used to things like that.

They cleared their throat again, more insistently. Dave opened his mouth to tell them to fuck off and let out a loud snore instead, but that at least made him realize he was sitting up, which meant he'd probably fallen asleep during a movie again, shit-

Dave moved to jerk awake only to have the air knocked out of him by a force that refused to be moved, like a solid lead blanket constricting around him. He pried open his eyes to find not Karkat but /Dirk/ standing over him. Dirk standing over him looking nonplussed. Dirk standing over him holding his pants.

"What the fuck," said Dave, glancing down at his lower half to see that someone had draped a large leaf artfully over his nether region, propped up under the bulge of his stomach.

"Yep," said Dirk.


	2. Chapter 2

"Tell me again how this is the obvious and most reasonable solution to my 'problem,'" Dave said. He felt ridiculous. The thing was, there really wasn't a dignified way to sit with a belly full of alien eggs and no clothes on. Karkat had done the best he could for him, surrounding him in a sort of nest of towels and sheets, but it only exacerbated the fact that he felt like a mother cat in a box filled with newspaper. The crinkly plastic beneath the sheets didn't help, either.

Karkat sighed and ran his fingers through his hair for the ten thousandth time that evening.

"If we don't get them out of you," he said slowly and patiently. "They're going to hatch, Dave. They're going to hatch, and they're going to be hungry. Lucky for them, they were laid in a nice, juicy asshole- reminder, that's you. Now, what do you think they're going to do when they hatch and there's eight layers of tasty idiot between them and the outside world? That's right, Dave, they're going to sauté some sporestools, tuck in their little cloth rectangles, and serve themselves three helpings of your stupid fucking carcass!"

"Say 'juicy asshole' again," Dave said casually. "Slower this time, emphasis on the juicy. Man, you make me sound tasty as hell, I think I should be flattered. Okay, yeah, I'm flattered."

"Dave!" Karkat snapped, pressing both hands over his eyes and opening his mouth in a silent scream. "Maybe you're excited to be the first to test if your situational immortality shitfuckery still applies here, but I don't think this is funny, okay!?"

"Sorry," Dave said, sinking back into his bundle of towels. "I know, I know, it's bad. I know we gotta get 'em out. But there's gotta be, like... a different way."

"Oh, I'm sure there is," said Karkat. "You could ask your mom-lusus to void them from your body, or ask Jake to hope them away. You could have Jade shrink them or any number of other magic fix-its. But that also means you'll have to explain what happened, or at the very least let them see you, and I know you'd rather get eaten. So here we are. At this same conundrum. Again."

"Okay, but Karkat," he spoke like he was trying to explain quantum physics to a hedgehog. "I already had them through there once, and I was all hopped up on jizz drugs at the time, and it still felt like swallowing an apple whole, only with my butt. I'm not exactly jonesing to go through that again."

"We'll go slow," Karkat said. He was pacing anxiously, like he expected Dave to burst into crabs at any second, even though he'd said some words about an incubation period and Dave was pretty sure that wasn't an immediate concern.

"Uh huh," said Dave.

"And I'll be able to, er..." Karkat grimaced. "Help you, this time."

"Yeah," said Dave. "See, I'm still not entirely convinced that's a real thing. I'm pretty sure you want to punish me and reclaim my butt simultaneously, like, some sort of black kink, and that's cool and all, but you don't gotta dress it up as helping."

"I _told_ you," Karkat said, sounding defeated. It had been a long, long night. "It's an Alternian species, Dave. Trolls have adapted to cope with the adhesive properties of its fluids by evolving a counter-measure in our own that dissolves it."

"Sure," said Dave. "You got magic butt-healing jizz. Why can't you just use it to dissolve the eggs, then?"

"It's evolution, globes-for-brains," Karkat said. "Not genetic engineering. We didn't get to pick what it did. You should be grateful that there even is a way to get them out naturally. Reminder: At least you can do it from the safety and comfort of your own home, in the loving arms of your soulmate."

"There are zero possible scenarios where I'll be grateful for butt eggs," Dave said. "But fuck, you're right, I guess I'm grateful for you."

Karkat gave the longest sigh yet, like he was trying to blow down the wall of their hive through sheer force of exasperation. He sank down next to Dave, running his fingers through his soft blonde hair, more for his own comfort than for Dave's. Dave closed his eyes and nuzzled into his palm anyway, reaching for his other hand to hold and squeeze.

"You're not mad, are you?" Dave asked quietly.

Karkat stared at him like he'd just spoken latin.

"Yes I'm mad," he said in the same over-the-top, winded tone. "I'm fucking furious, what the fuck are you talking about?"

"I mean..." said Dave, trailing off. He paused, tried again. "I mean, I probably could've gotten away, if I tried harder."

All the heated anger flooded out of Karkat in an instant, and he sank against the side of Dave's nest to wrap his arms around his shoulders.

"No, shit-for-brains," he said immediately. "I'm not mad at you for taking a prong in your nook. Did you seriously think I was? Dave, I'm scared. I'm worried about you! Because for some reason, I fucking love you?"

"For some reason," Dave said, laughing. He clung to Karkat's arms and let himself be scared for a minute, too. It was okay to be scared if Karkat was there, okay as long as he wasn't alone.

"Just..." Dave started to say, but he trailed off again, because he didn't know how to follow it up. Just be careful? As if Karkat didn't already worry he'd- (crack like an egg, came his immediate thought-) shatter like glass if he was nudged the wrong way. He took a long, deep breath and reached up to return Karkat's hair pets, scratching between the troll's horns until he'd managed to get a tiny 'chirr' out of him.

"Okay," Dave said instead. "I trust you. Put your dick in me, or whatever."

" _Thank_ you," Karkat said. He pressed a kiss to Dave's cheek.

Dave's breath caught as Karkat shifted over him and started to undress. It was a familiar situation made completely alien by the swell of his own stomach in between them. He knew the exact number of eggs inside him as if they were life-long friends, faces that he would never forget. And every single one of them would have to come out the same way they'd gone in.

"Here..." Karkat said, settling in between his legs. "I'm going to just massage you first. Try to relax."

Dave mouthed 'try to relax' like the world's snottiest kid, but he took a few more long, deep breaths, and at least tried to follow his advice. Easier said than done. He laughed, not for the first time, at the absurdity of the situation, and at himself. This was a little bit like having a 'first time' all over again, he thought. Him worrying over whether it would hurt and if his ass could even take it, and Karkat buzzing with nerves and being too goddamned fucking considerate and perfect and beautiful.

Dave groaned as Karkat's fingers dug into his tight stomach, not at all the soothing massage he'd been imagining.

"Wow," said Dave, "That feels like mega dicks, dude."

" _Yeah_ ," Karkat said, sounding irritable again. "I'll slather you in oils and rub your whole body down to Troll Marvin Gaye later, just focus on your breathing."

Dave didn't even have a snarky remark, just a small, stifled whimper of pain. Everything was shifting around again just after it'd all finally settled, and now Karkat was kneading his sore muscles like an over-enthusiastic cat. Sure, he could feel himself relaxing despite the pain, but he couldn't say he was a fan.

"Are you doing okay?" Karkat checked in, leaning over his belly to get a look at his face. "Tell me if it's too much, you don't have to tough it all out at once."

"I'm okay," said Dave. He sounded short of breath, like he'd just climbed a flight of stairs. "I'm _great_. Never been better. When life gives you eggs, make omelettes, right? Or just scramble them. Fry them, poach them, I'm not picky."

"You can't eat-"

"Shh, shh, shh," said Dave. "Just let me be delirious. Fuck, we haven't even started yet."

" _Relax_ ," Karkat said, smoothing his hands over Dave's skin, both his stomach and his thighs. Karkat reached between his own legs to tease a trickle of fluid from the sheath of his bulge, and then pressed his slick fingers to Dave's battered hole, just applying a light pressure.

"Remember the first time you fingered me?" Dave said out of nowhere. "I acted like a finger was gonna tear me in two. Guess what, little Dave, you don't know shit about ass."

"Mmh," Karkat said, recalling the memory in the pristine detail of a scene from a novel. They'd been together so long now that there was no way he could recall every time he'd made Dave cum, but that one had been special. "Are you trying to make it endearing that you won't stop whining by making me think of your cute hoofbeast manure?"

"Nah just thinking," said Dave. "If I was, though, is it working?"

Karkat pressed a finger up into him and Dave arched back into his nest, clutching at the towels and whimpering.

The juxtaposition of having been taken so roughly and suddenly by the crab monster in the forest, compared to Karkat's slowly and gently working him open was not lost on Dave. He took long, deep breaths, trying not to focus on how rubbed raw he felt, and instead craned his neck up to watch Karkat's face. Karkat's brows were knitted together in deep concentration, one hand still rubbing firmly at his stomach, a second finger edging in next to the first just a little bit deeper every time Dave exhaled.

"God, nothing gets you off more than foreplay, huh?" Dave teased.

"Do you really want me to just jam it in?" said Karkat. "I didn't think so, shut up."

"I just mean..." Dave shifted to get a little more comfortable. "You're never like, impatient. Even when you're not getting anything out of it, you're always, like... so attentive and shit. And I guess there's never really been an opportunity to be like, 'wow!' about that, cuz when we're fucking we're kinda busy and then after it's after and I don't really think about it but. Shit, bro, I really appreciate that."

There was a flush to Karkat's skin when he looked up at him and met his eyes, eyebrows raised and a wry sort of accusing smile on his face.

" _Now_ is when you want to get mushy with me?" he said.

"Well, yeah," said Dave. "Now, and also, always."

"Well thanks, I'm glad you appreciate me," said Karkat. "Now hold that thought."

"What-" said Dave, interrupted immediately by Karkat doing what, which was to roll on his stomach between Dave's legs and wrap his full, dark lips around Dave's cock. "- _Oh_."

"Mmh," Karkat agreed, his lips buzzing around Dave's shaft. Karkat's tongue laved leisurely over the head of Dave's cock, his lips working up and down his length, and very quickly Dave sprung from a sluggish half-mast to full attention.

"What thought was I holding?" Dave said. "Cuz now all that I'm thinking is about this beautiful troll boy with my dick in his mouth. It's real distracting, Karkat, I'm sorry."

"Mm," Karkat agreed. Dave Strider, bless him, was incredibly predictable in some ways. He thought a million miles an hour but only about one thing at a time, so all you had to do to distract him was find something to keep him completely occupied. Blowjobs were a good go-to tool.

"Awww fuck," Dave sighed, even managing the beginnings of a moan. "See, this is what the crab monsters never do for you. It's all about _them_ and _their_ needs. It's never about me, or about us. It's just eggs this, repopulation that. For once I wish the slobbering abomination would ask me about _my_ day."

Karkat pulled off of him with a wet, audible pop.

"How was your day?" Karkat asked.

"Ohhhh man," said Dave. "So you'll never believe what happened. Here's me, chillin' out, minding my own business, when all of a sudden this guy swerves into my lane, all, I got an offer for you you can't turn down! Real pushy, used car salesman type."

Karkat snorted.

"Shut the fuck up," he said, elbowing his thigh.

"I'm gettin' some mixed messages, here," Dave said, jumping right back into complaining at the slightest provocation. "First you want me to open up, then you're complaining about my timing. You ask me about my day, and then as soon as I'm gettin' into it you tell me to shut up."

Karkat paused with his lips balanced at the tip of Dave's cock, still connected by a drop of precum, heavily diluted by his own saliva. Karkat's voice came out just the slightest bit strained.

"Did you get into it?" he asked, in a painfully forced, faux-casual tone.  He was still scissoring his fingers inside of Dave, pausing occasionally to add more lubrication.

"Well," said Dave. On the one hand, he didn't want to lie to Karkat. On the other hand, the thing had literally fucked his brains out and when it wasn't agonizing- hell, maybe even when it was- it had been fucking fantastic. And sure, Karkat had said he wasn't mad, and sure, he hadn't done it on purpose, but. Christ, what a complicated situation.

"Dave," Karkat said patiently.

"Y'know," said Dave. It was a statement that was usually followed up by something, but this time, it wasn't.

" _Dave_ ," Karkat repeated.

Dave sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.

"It was pretty good, yeah," he said finally, and not without a weight of guilt. "Not like- not that- I mean, we- but."

Karkat pressed a third and then a fourth finger into him and pressed them in deep, leaning in to press a kiss just below Dave's navel, which was just about at the peak of the hill that was now his stomach.

"Yes, Dave, I will be 'reclaiming your butt,'" Karkat said, eyes locked on Dave's with his chin balanced on his stomach. "But not like a pinchbeast in the throes of laying season, like your boyfriend who is actually a little bit bothered that this is hurting you? I know which one you value more, it's no competition."

"Jesus, I love you," Dave said with another heavy sigh. He fell silent for a moment, breathing through the feeling of Karkat stretching him open. But he was glad they'd talked about this now instead of later, even if it was an awkward conversation to have with Karkat's fingers up his ass. That was just par for the course for them, it honestly wasn't the weirdest. Maybe not even in the top three.

"Just don't make a habit of it," said Karkat. "I have too many responsibilities already without being put in charge of literally saving your ass on a routine basis."

"Actually, I was thinking of making it like, a bi-yearly thing," said Dave. "Every other year, or twice a year, kinda just depending on how I'm feeling. Slobbering crab monsters, when Kar-can't, they will."

The pun was what pushed it over the edge. Karkat pulled his fingers out and didn't even bother wiping them off before pressing both hands over his eyes again.

"For fuck's sake, Dave, I'm trying to be understanding about this," he groaned. "I get it, I'm an underwhelming fuck, I'm not satisfying your black urges, it's _fine_. You don't have to rub it in."

"What?" said Dave, trying and failing to sit up. "Hey, no, hey. Hey, it was a joke. Karkat, I'd rather never fuck at all for the rest of my life than intentionally chase a giant monster kink that'd hurt you in the process."

"At least you're admitting I'm not good enough spades-wise," Karkat said bitterly, still not looking at him.

In lieu of being able to hold him with his arms, Dave squeezed his knees around Karkat's hips.

"Dude, you are the exact amount spades-wise that I'm comfortable confronting on a daily basis," Dave insisted. "I'm not just saying that to make you feel better, that's the fucking truth. You are what I want in my life. Crab is what my dick wants in a weird fever dream. Like, you hit the nail right on the head, it's no competition."

Reluctantly, Karkat pried his hands from his face and leaned to rest his cheek on Dave's stomach.

"I want to be perfect for you," Karkat murmured. "I don't like that there's something I can't do for you."

"Karkat," said Dave. "Nobody's perfect for anybody, that's not how people work. But you're damn fucking close. And you know what the crab monster can't do?"

"What?" Karkat said miserably.

"De-egg my butt," said Dave. "So you got that going for you."

Karkat laughed and punched his leg, but immediately after he was crawling over Dave to kiss him, fingers in his hair, his tongue over-eager to replace any lingering taste in Dave's mouth. Dave kissed back and hugged him at the same time, relieved to have him within his reach again. This whole being weighed down and unable to move by himself was a definite down-side once the sexy, tingly part of it wore off.

"Sure," Karkat said when he pulled back, smoothing his hands carefully through Dave's hair. "Ten minutes ago it was 'I don't know if this proven cure is a good idea, Karkat,' and now you're begging for my help."

"You want me to beg?" said Dave, stroking Karkat's shoulder blade with his thumb. "Who's kinky now? Please, stuff my ass with bulge, oh mighty Karkat, emperor of all crabkind. -Shit, no, I shoulda gone with king, like, king crab. Or- no, fuck, I got this. Crawdaddy."

"None of those things, shut the fuck up," Karkat said, clamping a hand over Dave's mouth. "Never speak, my bulge has retreated so far inward I'm not sure a flush proposal from Troll Will Smith could get it out again."

"Liar," said Dave, muffled heavily by Karkat's hand.

"You're right," said Karkat. "Troll Will Smith is a finely crafted work of art given physical form."

Unlike the single word answer, the sentence Dave tried to follow it up with came out as a completely incomprehensible mess of sounds, and Karkat had to reluctantly pull his hand away.

"What?" he said.

"I said," said Dave. "That was such a 'me' joke. As in, it was incredibly lame. Also, I love you. Kiss me again."

Karkat rolled his eyes but kissed him again anyway. At the same time he reached down to gently knead Dave's balls and tease a thumb over the head of his cock.

Dave groaned against Karkat's lips, running his hands down his back to squeeze his ass in return. Karkat's bulge had joined what his hands were doing, lapping up and down his shaft like a giant tongue. Karkat moved from his lips to kiss his cheek, and then nip gently at his earlobe.

"This will probably hurt," he said, "but _please_ tell me if it's too much. Promise me, Dave. We don't have to do it all at once. We have at least a few days before you start experiencing any serious adverse effects-"

"Cuz this isn't serious," said Dave, lifting his hands to gesture to his whole body.

"Shut up," said Karkat. "Let me finish. I'll take care of you, okay? We can take a few out every day, and you can stay in bed. I'll bring you hot meatwater and read to you, and-"

"I'm not sick, Karkat, but the thought is cute as fuck, so thank you for that," Dave interrupted again. "No, I gotta have 'em all out. I'd feel gross sitting around and, uh. Incubating. Let's just do it. I'm ready. Stick it in me."

Karkat didn't have an argument for that one, but he'd definitely heard that line before, and in pretty much every case they'd both been overthinking it. So he reached for Dave's hand to hold and kissed him again, while the tip of his bulge worked Dave open so cautiously and carefully it could have been their first time all over again. Only unlike their actual first time, Karkat was familiar with every aspect of Dave's body now. Down to the slightest ways his lips would tremble against his if it hurt, the differences between good catches in breath and the bad ones, the way Dave would sometimes open his eyes while they kissed even though nobody looked good that close-up- which he discovered because he'd sometimes do the same.

"I love you," Karkat breathed against Dave's skin, kissing slowly down Dave's neck as he was forced to shift lower because of his protruding belly to get his bulge in deeper. Dave bit his lip and nodded, cheeks flushed, eyes closed.

"I love you too," Dave said quickly, squeezing his hand, and then pressing it between his legs. "Keep touching my cock, it doesn't feel too bad when you're doing that."

Truthfully the feeling of Karkat's bulge wriggling into him was very nearly soothing, the slickness of it a welcome feeling on his rubbed-raw skin. Dave whimpered softly as Karkat's fingers curled tightly around him, working his cock slowly but firmly, and as the girth of his bulge caught up to the fingers he'd been taking earlier Dave's whimpering upgraded to a full blown moan, lips parted, back arching into it.

"You're perfect," Dave said, scratching between Karkat's horns and squeezing his hand. "You're really... you're seriously beyond perfect, Karkat. Even now when I'm feeling like shit about this whole thing, and I feel like I'm garbage, you're here treating me like a treasure. You're always doing that, treating me good even when I don't deserve it. You're such a good fucking person. That's why I'd never go hard black for you, I can't compartmentalize that shit and neither can you, and I don't wanna fuck up what we got going for some stupid hate sex. You mean way too much to me exactly how you are."

Karkat's hips bumped against Dave's ass, the full length of his bulge fully buried inside him. Dave almost regretted saying anything, because with both his hands occupied Karkat couldn't cover his face, and it was clear he was on the edge of tears. But Dave was also familiar enough with Karkat to judge that they were probably good tears. He pulled Karkat's hand to his lips and kissed it.

"You do deserve it," Karkat said, pulling their hands up to press his lips to where Dave had kissed, and then wiping his eyes on the back of his wrist. "You're an idiot but you're not garbage. It's not like I'm doing you some huge favor by not treating you like shit. You're a good person, and I still love you even when you fuck up. Especially when you fuck up, because that's when you need it more."

"Shit, dude," said Dave. "Now you're gonna make me cry. That's blackrom as shit, this emotional torture."

"I really might," said Karkat, "because I just touched the first egg."

"Oh shit," said Dave. "Almost forgot about the eggs. Yeah, man, get that thing out of there."

Dave took a deep breath, trying to keep his focus near his entrance, where the heat of Karkat's bulge wriggling around inside him was starting to build into something very nearly pleasurable. It was easier said than done, he couldn't stop imagining its tapered tip fishing around inside him, trying to break the gooey bonds holding the eggs securely inside.

"How's that feeling for you?" Dave said, just to distract himself.

"Not... not bad, actually," Karkat said, his cheeks flushing a shade darker. "I don't mind the thrusting motion but this really feels more natural to me."

"Yeah?" said Dave. "Fuckin' enjoy it. You're kinda all about me during sex, which I love, it's fuckin' fantastic, but I wanna be more about you."

"No," said Karkat. "Thanks. I appreciate the thought, but focusing on you is what makes it good for me. I'd just feel self-conscious. I'm in it for you. You're... beautiful, when we're making love, Dave. You really, really are. I live for your reactions, and it makes me feel... I don't know, powerful? It makes me feel capable to make you feel good."

"Yeah, but you don't gotta be like that all the time," said Dave. "You reacting to me is kinda what makes me feel like I can just enjoy how it feels in the first place, and I want you to feel that. To feel like you're the treasure and the star. Cuz you are, you're so fuckin' important to me, and you fuckin' know I'm getting off on you getting off, too. And also how good you are with your fuckin' hands, god damn."

"Thanks," said Karkat. "But I think this situation definitely requires focusing on you."

"Physically, maybe," said Dave. "Mentally I'm all on you. I love getting to look at you from this angle, where the light's behind you and it kinda just catches your outlines and the shadows soften out everything else. I think about it a lot, like, I wish I could have this angle in a photo but flash on would ruin it and flash off would be too dark. So I gotta memorize you instead, above me and moving. It's real good."

"I think I have a firm hold on the first egg," said Karkat. He was squeezing Dave's hand a little too tightly and the blush in his face had traveled all the way down his chest. "Ready?"

"Sure," said Dave, who wasn't ready. "What do I gotta do?"

"Just relax," said Karkat.

"Has anyone, ever, in the history of space and time ever relaxed when somebody said that?" said Dave. "Hypothetical question."

"Shh," said Karkat.

Turned out, moving the egg through his body wasn't really a problem. It felt weird, but fine. What was a problem was the way that, even with all the warm-up stretching and foreplay, he could still feel it _catch_ at his entrance, now with the tapered end of Karkat's bulge wrapped around it to contend with as well. Dave groaned, shifting his hips uncomfortably and arching away from him.

"Fuck, don't pull, don't pull-!" Dave said quickly, tears welling in his eyes just as promised. "Try sort of... bouncing it, and please, please please please, don't stop touching me until it's out."

Karkat shifted his knees wide to spread Dave's legs wider, letting go of his hand so that he could rub his stomach as well as his cock. He curled around him to kiss the soft blonde fuzz growing between his chest and bellybutton, kneading his lower belly with his hand, hips rocking gently to try and tug the egg through his tight outer muscles.

"Fuuuuck," Dave groaned, covering his mouth. He'd felt this going in, too; the oblong tip of the eggs had a tendency to point right up against his prostate, even more so from this angle, the smooth, slick edge rubbing against it with every rock in and tug out.

"Good fuck or bad fuck?" Karkat asked, sounding worried, though he didn't stop moving.

" _Both_ ," Dave moaned.

"Keep going?" Karkat confirmed.

"Oh, hell yeah," said Dave. "Feels pretty good just like that, just carefully... aw, fuck, Karkat. I love you, I'm sorry for doubting you, I'll never question your bulge's many varied and useful skills again."

"I'd like that in writing when we're done," said Karkat.

"Yeah, sure," said Dave, and then, "Ahh- fuck!!"

With one last final tug Karkat had freed the first egg his body. It fell between them, pooling sticky red on the sheet in a thick puddle. It was the same shade of red as Karkat's fluids, semi-transparent with an even thicker red fluid inside obscuring the view of the unborn creature. That was good, this way he could pretend they were just an egg-shaped sex toy and this was all an unfortunate accident as well as a lesson to never put anything in you without a string to fish it out with.

"Fuck," Dave said again, wincing open his eyes and breathing heavily. "Fuckity fucking fuck. Wow."

Free of his tether, Karkat crawled over him to kiss him again.

"Are you okay?" he said in between kisses. "You're doing fucking amazing, Dave. Just catch your breath, it's okay."

"Yeah, it's not too bad," said Dave. "Not too fuckin' shabby. The trick is getting through eight more without cumming 'til the end."

"Wow," said Karkat. "And here I was, trying not to hurt you."

"Which I really fuckin' appreciate cuz it still does hurt too even when you're being careful," Dave assured him.

"Though," Karkat said thoughtfully, shifting tracks. "It might be easier if I _didn't_ wait until the end to cum. There would be more material to loosen them with. So don't try too hard, you only need to hold out until I cum."

"See, there's a Karkat-tier blackrom," Dave said, arching up to kiss him again and then grinning up at him, looking both exhausted and enthusiastic. "Pushing my limits and challenging me without being scary and/or violent. You're actually really good at human spades. Troll spades has just got your fucked-up-ometer all skewed. All my quadrants, Karkat. You got 'em."

Karkat kissed him one more time before pressing the tip of his bulge to his entrance again. But this time, instead of pressing in deep, he set about trying to stretch him open more, letting his bulge twist into a spiral just inside the first band of muscle and then pushing in deeper. The first egg had given him some sense of the scale and he was fairly certain it didn't have to be this slow and agonizing.

"Whhaaaaat the fuck," Dave said, clenching at the sheets. "What the shit, you've never done that before."

"I've never had a reason to, stop squirming," Karkat said. He continued to coil his bulge around itself, keeping it moving slowly but constantly, slow enough that Dave barely noticed feeling himself being stretched open wider and wider.

"I know I said I'd never question your bulge skills again, but holy fuck," said Dave.

Karkat raised an eyebrow. "Good holy fuck or bad holy fuck?"

"It's a pretty neutral holy fuck," said Dave. "Leaning on the positive side I guess."

"Wow, contain your enthusiasm, Strider, we have neighbors," Karkat complained, adding a firm pressure to Dave's lower belly again. "What do you need to make it better, then?"

Dave choked down his immediate quip back, recognizing the tone as a genuine question. What did he need? Nearly a carton of eggs to not be chilling out where the sun don't shine. Yeah, he was working on that. What did he need to make the whole process not suck, though?

"Something to do," said Dave. "I'm lowkey freaking the fuck out. Maybe not lowkey. I dunno, I can't tell."

Karkat stopped immediately and pulled out, which had Dave groaning and making noises of complaint.

"No, no, Karkat, not like that kinda freaking out, we gotta keep going or we'll be here all day," Dave said, tugging insistently at his arm like it was a lever directly connected to his bulge.

"We'll be here all week if that's what it takes," Karkat said, with such a fierce determination that Dave was slightly taken aback. "But that's not the point. I'm going to _make_ you enjoy it."

"Ooooh," Dave said with an exaggerated wince. "Somebody's feisty."

"Shut the fuck up," said Karkat, curling his body around Dave's side, forehead pressed his cheek, warm breath meeting the sweat trickling down his neck and sending gooseflesh prickling over his arms and legs.

Dave swept up one of Karkat's arms in both of his, hugging the limb close to his chest while he kissed the back of Karkat's hand just for a way to touch him.

"What if I tied you up?" Karkat offered in an offhand kind of way, not pressuring him one way or another. "Will that help you relax? You can fondle my globes and suck me off as much as you want _later_."

"Is that a promise?" said Dave. When Karkat just frowned at him, he sighed and answered, "Yeah, okay, yeah, it'd probably help. I mean, if you wanna go all out, add a gag and a blindfold..."

"I'm not gagging you," said Karkat. "As much as it pains me to have to say that. I need you to be able to tell me if you're hurting."

"You never wanna gag me," Dave complained, pouting. "You're all talk and no choking me stupid, admit it, you like the banter, don't you? You liiiiike me, you like my bullshit."

"Oh my taint-chafing fuck, I hate that I do, Dave, I truly, passionately hate that I do," Karkat said, shoving him gently as he disentangled himself from Dave's gangly limbs to gather supplies.

Dave was immediately anxious that he couldn't see Karkat walking around behind him- which Karkat seemed to sense, because he was gone and back in less than a minute, and was immediately touching Dave's hair and neck and shoulders in that insistently soft and ridiculously pale way. Dave appreciated it all the more knowing how weird it still was for Karkat to blur conciliatory business into sex.

"Gaaaaaaaay," Dave whispered, beaming at him. Karkat papped him squarely on the mouth a few times, until Dave licked his palm, and then he pulled his hand away with a grimace before wiping it in Dave's hair.

"Don't be sassy when I'm doing you a favor," Karkat grumbled, pulling Dave's arms above his head, crossing his forearms over each other.

"When are you ever not doing me a favor?" Dave grumbled back at him, to which Karkat only snorted, rope sliding against rope and skin as he carefully looped and knotted it into place. Dave continued, whining, "I can't believe I'm shackled to the most attentive lover on Earth C, he just won't stop checking in on my comfort level and smothering me with affection. It's hard, Karkat. Being me and feeling loved. It's hard and nobody understands."

"Lift your head up," Karkat said. Dave could tell he was trying very hard not to smile.

Karkat tied the blindfold, tugging it carefully into place and brushing Dave's hair back around it. He had Dave sit up a little more while he was at it, moving around pillows and towels to prop him back up at a better angle.

"Better?" Karkat asked.

Dave nodded, and then breathed, "Yeah."

Karkat said, "Ready to go again?"

Again, Dave nodded.

Dave braced himself, closing his eyes behind the blindfold to bask in the darkness and the restriction of the ropes. Something physical to enforce the fact that there was nothing he needed to do, right now. Nothing was expected of him. No responsibilities. No ultimatum except to relax, and let Karkat help him.

With his slimy, alien dick.

Karkat loomed over him to kiss him first, hands back in his hair, lips on lips. Dave could feel Karkat's stomach pressing against his own in a really weird way, Karkat's being soft and warm, his own strangely firm and unyielding. Then Karkat had to slide down to get between his legs again. Dave missed his kisses immediately, though the slick feel of his bulge squirming over his cock and balls was a pretty good consolation prize.

"Ready, ready?" Karkat confirmed again.

" _Yes_ , Karkat, oh my go-ahhhd-" Dave said, his voice slurring into a moan as Karkat's bulge pressed into him again, this time pushing deep, going for another egg. Dave fought down his anxiety, grounding himself with the knowledge that Karkat would stop, immediately, if he asked him to.

"Let's try this again," Karkat said, rubbing his hand firmly over the last inch or so of Dave's cock until his palm was smeared with a thin layer of precum and Dave was struggling not to squirm beneath him. "What do you need? What can I do to make it better?"

Dave took a deep breath, letting it out in a ragged sigh, his thumbs tracing over the texture of the rope to remind himself. No expectations. No pressure to do or even to say anything, really.

"Do that swirly thing again," he said, "except, like, up against my prostate maybe? And keep your hand- right doing what it's doing, that's good, mmhh..."

Karkat shifted and Dave felt it instantly. Now it was impossible not to squirm, his body tensing, his hands balling into fists. More precum oozed into Karkat's hand and was smeared up and down his length.

"I have to admit," Karkat said, panting a little himself. "I do like making you rely on me like this. Completely at my mercy, no choice but to be cared for out of your fucking mind."

"Fuuuck, you're such a sweettalker," Dave moaned. He imagined what Karkat must look like right now, watching him without restraint now that Dave couldn't see him staring, wholly focused on him, with his grey skin stained dark, ashy pink and his canine teeth just visible inside the frame of his dark lips.

Karkat's bulge writhed inside him until Dave felt like he was right on the edge of something. He bit his lip, his breath catching in his throat, his stomach tight while the rest of his body felt loose and noodley. And then just like that Karkat was shifting in him again, the tip of his bulge prodding and searching out inside him.

"God, fuck, fuck, damn it," Dave groaned in frustration, while at the same time knowing if Karkat kept that up any longer he was going to cum, and that'd only make this shit harder. They were at, what? One out of ten? It was gonna be a long fucking night if they kept up at this pace.

"You're okay," Karkat said soothingly, still slowly, slowly stroking his dick while he felt around inside him. "Just- mmh, it's loose, just push. Gently."

Dave just whimpered instead of complaining, but he did as he was told. He could feel the egg moving, a smooth, warm pressure shifting slowly down through him until he felt Karkat pull out again and it was just the egg struggling to push through.

"You can do this, don't strain yourself," Karkat cooed. But even as he tried to sound composed for Dave's sake, his bulge was painting his thighs scarlet lashing around, over-eager to be back inside the tight heat of his body.

"Fuck, Karkat- _Fuck_ , Karkaaaaaht fucking-" Dave cursed in a blind haze. There was a subtle, wet sound and the second egg cleared, and with it came a flood of Karkat's fluids, enough to pool beneath him even as the egg was nudged out of the way.

"Jesus," Dave panted. "Kiss me immediately."

Karkat was grabbing at his hair and pulling at his lips with his teeth almost before he said it. Dave seized on the chance to touch Karkat again, arching up out of his nest to chase after Karkat's retreating lips and Karkat, just as eager to stay with him, wasn't hard to convince to stay for more. They kissed until Dave was laughing and Karkat was growling with need.

"Still okay?" Karkat asked breathlessly, rubbing his thumb over Dave's bottom lip. "Ready to keep going?"

"You gettin' a little flustered plundering my booty for booty?" Dave teased him, after pressing a kiss to the tip of his thumb.

"Shut-"

"Yeah, I'm alright," Dave interrupted him. "Tired. Sore. I love you, try and be gentle but also, go nuts."

"Love you too," Karkat said. He kissed him again, moved back down, thrust inside. Lather, rinse, and repeat.

Karkat shoved Dave's legs up, grinding against him to push his hips where he wanted them. Most of the motion was still internal, just his hips rocking slightly while his bulge wriggled around inside him, only now it was clear Karkat was focusing less on the eggs and more on how it felt for him. Dave was so slick inside now that every slightest movement bubbled and squelched, sticky red streaking his skin, pooling and splashing.

Tied up or not, Karkat couldn't stop Dave from taking advantage of Karkat's need. If he focused- hard to do, but not impossible- he could roll his hips a little and squeeze around him-

"Fuuuuck, don't, mmmh-" Karkat groaned, his hands twitching against Dave's thighs. "You're supposed to be relaxing."

"Well guess what, Karkat, this ain't yoga class where you're just helping me with my downward doggy style," Dave said, hooking his feet loosely behind Karkat's back. "You said it yourself, best case scenario, you cum in me and they all just fall out on their own. Thanks for the prescription, doctor pervert, and they say medicine's supposed to taste bad."

Karkat couldn't even argue with him, he was so close now his globes were aching. Dave always felt good, but moving like this, the whole length of his bulge sheathed in the tight, wet heat of his body, squeezing around him, working against him and- it was something else. Not better or worse, but different, intense in a way he had no practice in controlling even if he’d wanted to try.

"Fuck-" Karkat sputtered instead, losing himself in the perfect feeling of letting go, feeling his bulge pulsing inside Dave's ass, flooding him full of cum until it was bubbling right back out of him, spurting around the still writhing intrusion pumping more and more fluid into him.

"Fuck, oh my god!" Dave groaned, pulling at his bonds, his legs twitching. He felt too full again, it was too much, beyond what he could handle and even hope to think at the same time. Karkat's weight had fallen on his stomach and everything was being pressed and pulled and stretched too tight.

Karkat pulled himself out of him and off of him, but that was the most he could do for a moment other than wheeze while he tried to catch his breath and pat Dave in a vaguely reassuring manner. As always his fluids were seeping right back out of Dave like a literal red sea, only this time he had already been full to bursting to start with. Dave had a distant thought that maybe he should be trying to hold it in to do some dissolving business or something? But that thought was laughable, imagining he had any control over his own body right now, imagining that he could do anything that wasn't softly keening and slipping around in the mess they'd made together.

"You're okay, you're okay," Karkat said blearily, like he knew anything. Dave laughed weakly, tears in his eyes. He was so tired, and there were so many left to go. His boasting about wanting to rip off the bandaid, do it all in one go, now seemed ludicrous. Karkat stroked his cheeks and his hair, untying the blindfold and pushing it away so he could check in on him, eye to eye, lips to his lips.

"Fuck," Dave said, leaning into Karkat's touch, feeling half-delirious and barely able to return his kisses. "Some of the shit we get up to is so fucking embarrassing, I'm so glad you're the only one who ever sees me this totally fucked up."

"I fucking cherish the thought," Karkat said.  He sounded completely genuine about it, too. Then he added, like an afterthought, "Brutally over-fucked is a good look for you."

"Thanks," said Dave. "I'm thinking of starting my own fashion line, but I dunno if they'll let me sell strawberry ice cream topper as a beauty product."

"Disgusting," Karkat mumbled, which Dave took as a complement.

"You love it," Dave shot back. "Pervert."

"Said the cookcylinder to the boilcylinder," said Karkat. "Why is it that you always complain the loudest when you're enjoying yourself?"

"We can't all be like you and complain loudly all the time," Dave said flippantly. "Now... not that I don't love the snuggling, cuz you know post-coital cuddly Karkat is just about my favorite Karkat of all, but like, I wanna participate, and I'm kinda afraid to move right now."

"Relax," Karkat said. But he forced himself to sit back up anyway, and dragged himself back down between Dave's legs. Dave squirmed a little, enjoying the view of Karkat rubbing his thighs, looking weary and rumpled from his orgasm in a way that made Dave desperately want to sit up and ruffle his hair.

"You keep saying that," said Dave, "But I've seen you relaxed maybe five times the whole time I've known you, not sure you're really the guru to turn to."

"Fuck you," said Karkat, "I've never relaxed in my life, don't fucking slander me in my own home."

Dave was going to counter him with an argument, but he was distracted by what Karkat was doing, trailing kisses over the swell of his stomach with a sluggish but intense focus. He added in his hands, his fingers slightly slimy from his own genetic material, sliding over Dave's skin and gingerly adding pressure. Dave groaned, but the gentle kisses continued, so he tried not to complain too loudly even as his fingers twisted in the ropes that still bound him.

As Karkat pressed harder, his slurry began to leak out even faster, less a trickle and more a stream of thick, sticky red oozing beneath him. Dave could feel things shifting around inside him, urged on by Karkat's careful hands pushing and squeezing his sore stomach. He'd need a long, hot bath after this, and a few days in bed.

"Fuck, what do I do?" Dave pleaded with him, his voice strained.

"Uh, push if you can, but don't force it," Karkat said. Dave's whole stomach felt like a bruise being poked, but Karkat seemed to have some idea of what he was doing, maybe, possibly? Dave trusted him not to be hurting him if he could help it.

Dave closed his eyes tightly, took a deep breath, and tried to do as he was told, keeping his muscles relaxed while tightening his stomach in a way that he hoped communicated to the eggs that they were no longer welcome. For a while he couldn't tell if any of it was helping- and then suddenly he felt that agonizing pressure assert itself against his prostate again, and he swore so loud even Karkat looked appalled.

"Touch me, Karkat, god, please, fuck," Dave said urgently, sputtering over his words. Karkat knew better than to argue with him. He had his hand around him in an instant, his mouth following it a moment later, lips tight around him, tongue swiveling around his head. Dave moaned, pushing harder now despite himself. Both his fingers and his toes curled. He could feel multiple eggs building up pressure at his hole.

"Fuck, _fuck_ ," Dave whined. The egg had cut off the flow of jizz and now he could feel himself stretching around it, opening up. He shuddered, overwhelmed by the tension hanging in the moment, waiting for it to break. He was not disappointed.

As one egg popped out of him, the rest of them followed in a rush, making Dave twitch in overstimulated pleasure and pain, his eyes wincing shut, tears spilling down his cheeks. His hips jerked up into Karkat's mouth, cum flooding down the troll's throat, warm eggs and material bumping against his chest and splashing onto his arms and shoulders.

"Fuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh _uuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhh_ hhhhhhhhhhck," Dave moaned in a way that was very nearly musical. He was gasping for breath, his mind a haze of relief. His whole body had gone limp even before Karkat had time to pull off his cock and lean back up to untie him. The both of them looked like they'd survived a battle, they were both so splattered in red. Dave, at least, definitely wouldn't have disputed the accuracy of that. He wrapped his arms around Karkat's shoulders and pulled him into a hug, appreciating the way Karkat's body fit against his in a way he hadn't before.

Karkat kissed him gently, running his fingers through Dave's sweat-sticky hair.

"Is that all of them?" Karkat asked.

"Wuh?" Dave said stupidly. For a moment he just blinked at him, trying to process the sounds he'd made as words, until it finally clicked into place. "Oh- shit, I think so. Count 'em for me?"

"There's... ten of them, I think?" said Karkat, only half sitting up because Dave refused to let go of his shoulders.

"Yeah, yeah, that sounds right," said Dave.

Weary as he was in his own way, Karkat set about immediately on cleaning Dave up, discarding the eggs in a cooler for now until they could decide what to do with them. He felt a little bit protective of them now that he’d helped to birth them, and didn’t feel right just throwing them away, even if they probably wouldn’t survive without a host body. He wiped down Dave’s stomach and legs, as well as himself, and helped him shift over to the dry half of the bed to rest, where he promptly curled protectively around him, face buried in his hair.

“You’re such a bugwinged idiot, Dave,” Karkat said affectionately. Dave could only groan in agreement, already beginning to doze off. Karkat let him for a moment, just stroking his hair, appreciating the way Dave looked when he was too tired to hold anything back.

“I’ve thought about it,” Karkat said, causing Dave to snort and open his eyes again.

“Huhhh? ‘Bout what?” Dave mumbled.

“You, getting fucked by a ravenous beast or two,” Karkat said. “I wouldn’t be jealous if I could see it, if it was for me. I bet you looked fucking beautiful dangling off that thing’s eggdepositer.”

“Uhhh,” Dave said. And then again, “Uhhhhhhhhhhh,” and then finally, “You know what? Ask me again in like five hundred years, pretty sure I’m gonna be too sore until then.”


End file.
